7 Principles That Completely Changed My Life After 50

In 2016, my life was a dumpster fire.

There really isn’t a prettier way to say it.

I was broke. My health was terrible. And maybe worst of all, I was bitter.

I was angry at the world because of the way my life had turned out. It didn’t seem fair. This wasn’t where I thought I would be at this point in my life.

Now I’m getting ready to turn 60—which is still slightly hard for me to believe—and my life looks almost nothing like it did ten years ago.

I’m making nearly three times what I used to make. I’ve built a YouTube community of more than 55,000 subscribers. I’m launching businesses. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, a city I absolutely love. I travel the world with friends.

I’ve also become an ACE-certified health coach and personal trainer and continued doing what I’ve always loved most: teaching and helping people.

I didn’t wake up one morning and magically have a different life.

I changed it.

And looking back, there are seven principles that helped me do it.

If you’re over 50 and wondering, Is it too late for me?—this is for you.

1. Decide What Your Dreams Actually Are

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked someone over 50:

“What’s your five-year plan?”

Crickets.

They don’t have one.

Somewhere along the way, we stop asking ourselves what we want.

When we’re young, everyone asks us about our future.

What do you want to be?

Where do you want to live?

What are your dreams?

Then we reach a certain age and suddenly we’re supposed to be finished dreaming.

Friends, I don’t believe that for one second.

If you don’t decide what you want the next five years to look like, those five years are still going to pass.

You can spend them sitting on the couch binge-watching Netflix, scrolling through social media and watching everybody else live their lives.

Or you can start living yours.

Take out a piece of paper and write down three dreams.

Maybe you want better health.

Maybe you want a new career.

Maybe you want financial freedom.

Maybe you want to travel.

Maybe you want to move somewhere you’ve always dreamed of living.

Whatever they are, write them down.

Then turn those dreams into SMART goals: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-related.

And please make them attainable.

At one point, I thought maybe I was going to become a salsa dancer.

Then I went salsa dancing enough times for the men to basically tell me, “Honey, you cannot dance.”

Mama can’t dance.

Moving on.

That’s okay!

Not every dream has to become your dream.

The goal is to find the ones that fit you.

2. Work With Your Strengths

Once you’ve written down your dreams, write down your ten greatest strengths.

What are you naturally good at?

What have people consistently told you you’re good at?

What do you have actual evidence that you’re good at?

Then ask yourself:

Do my dreams align with my strengths?

I’ve always been athletic. Becoming a personal trainer made sense.

I love helping people.

I love teaching.

Coaching made sense.

I’ve spent years as a teacher taking tests, earning certifications and learning new material, so earning my health and fitness certifications wasn’t completely foreign territory for me.

Your next chapter doesn’t have to come out of nowhere.

It may already be hiding inside the things you’ve been doing your entire life.

Instead of obsessing over everything you’re not good at, start looking at what you already have going for you.

You might be surprised by how much you have to work with.

3. Work Backward From the Dream

Once you know where you want to go, stop staring at the entire journey.

Work backward.

One of my goals has been preparing for a bikini bodybuilding competition.

Now, there are approximately a million things I could worry about.

The spray tan.

The posing.

The shoes.

The hair.

The makeup.

But none of those things matter if I don’t prepare my body first.

Those things are pebbles.

My big rocks are my nutrition, resistance training, cardio and getting my body ready for competition.

So that’s where I started.

The same thing applies to any dream.

Want to start a business?

What’s the first big thing that actually has to happen?

Want to change careers?

What certification, degree, experience or skill do you need first?

Want to get your finances under control?

What’s the first debt or spending habit you need to address?

Start there.

And give yourself permission to be flexible.

Maybe I do the bodybuilding competition. Maybe something changes and I don’t.

You know what?

I’ll still be healthier and stronger than when I started. I can put on my cute little bikini, take some pictures and put a medal around my own neck if I want to.

I’ll survive.

Your dreams can change.

Your route can change.

Forward is still forward.

4. Put Your Big Rocks in First

Imagine your life is a jar.

Now imagine filling that jar with hundreds of tiny pebbles.

Errands.

Social media.

Television.

Other people’s requests.

Obligations.

Shopping.

Phone calls.

Appointments.

Things you agreed to do even though you didn’t want to do them.

Then you pick up the big rock representing your dream and try to put it in the jar.

It doesn’t fit.

That’s how many of us live.

We fill our days with pebbles and then wonder why we never have time for our dreams.

But what happens if you put the big rocks in first?

Suddenly, the pebbles can settle around them.

When I was studying for my personal training and health coaching certifications, I studied first thing in the morning.

I’d sit down with my tea and get it done.

Why?

Because I knew myself.

If I waited until the end of the day, it probably wasn’t happening.

The same goes for my fitness goals. I schedule the important things. I run. I track my nutrition. I resistance train.

The big rocks go into the jar first.

Your dream has to become a priority, not something you do if you happen to have time left over.

5. Start Throwing Out Some Pebbles

Here’s the part some of us don’t like.

If you want room for your dreams, some things have to go.

Not everything filling your life is bad.

That’s what makes this difficult.

Pebbles can be perfectly good things.

But there are simply too many of them.

Do I need to walk the neighbor’s dog?

No.

Do I need to attend one more baby shower?

Listen, Mama isn’t having any babies, and I feel like I’ve attended approximately a thousand baby showers at this point.

Do I need another hour of Netflix?

No.

Do I need to scroll through social media and make myself miserable comparing my life to everybody else’s highlight reel?

Absolutely not.

Do I need to do one more thing for one more person simply because I’m afraid to say no?

No.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve also become much more protective of my inner circle.

I don’t need 100 people around me.

Give me my handful of favorite people.

I’d rather spend my birthday in Argentina than spend an entire year attending events out of obligation so everyone will show up for mine.

At this stage of life, time is precious.

You don’t have to be mean.

You don’t have to stop caring about people.

But you do have to decide what deserves space in your jar.

6. Drop Everything and Get It Done

When I was a teacher, we had something called Drop Everything and Read.

The kids would bring their books, blankets and stuffed animals, and we’d make a surprise announcement:

Drop everything and read!

I think grown-ups need our own version.

Drop everything and get it done.

Sometimes we need a sense of urgency.

Company’s coming?

Clean the house.

It’s April 14?

Do the taxes.

It’s January 7 and the Christmas tree is still standing there judging you?

Take the Christmas tree down.

And when it comes to your dreams, sometimes you need to do exactly the same thing.

Drop everything and work.

I’m still employed full-time. So when I have a day off and I’m working on building a business, sometimes that day belongs to the dream.

I don’t scroll social media.

I don’t worry about whether the house is spotless.

I don’t spend the day answering my phone.

I’m not even making promises about whether I’ve brushed my teeth yet.

That’s one advantage of being single as a Pringle.

Some days, I can disappear into my work and get things done.

You may not have the same freedom I do. You may have a spouse, children, grandchildren or other responsibilities.

But you can still create protected time.

An hour.

A morning.

A Saturday.

Whatever you can realistically claim.

Your dream needs your attention.

7. Follow Your Yellow Brick Road

This may be the hardest principle.

At some point, you have to be brave enough to live a life that’s actually yours.

If you’re living somewhere you hate, ask yourself why you’re still there.

If you’re going to a job every day that you despise, start exploring another possibility.

If you’re living your life according to everybody else’s expectations, maybe it’s time to ask what you want.

For me, that required some major changes.

I left Chattanooga.

I sold a house that was draining my savings and felt filled with ghosts—and apparently chipmunks.

I stepped away from a career that no longer defined who I wanted to become.

I moved.

I rebuilt.

I stopped believing my life had to look the way other people thought it should look.

And yes, that included relationships.

I’m single as a Pringle, and I’m loving my life.

I travel.

I have wonderful friends.

I love where I live.

I enjoy my work.

I’ve increased my income dramatically and paid off my debts.

But none of that happened while I was sitting around waiting to feel brave.

Sometimes you have to start walking while you’re still scared.

For me, following the yellow brick road meant getting the heck out of Kansas.

My Kansas just happened to be Chattanooga, Tennessee.

My old life felt black and white.

I wanted color.

I had spent enough time worrying about what other people thought I was supposed to do.

It was time to stop living like a caterpillar.

I wanted to become the butterfly.

Your Life Isn’t Over at 50

If you’re over 50, I want you to understand something:

You still have time.

Maybe you have 10 years.

Maybe 20.

Maybe 30 or more.

Think about how much can happen in a decade.

I know because I’ve lived it.

In 2016, I was broke, unhealthy, bitter and angry about the way my life had turned out.

Ten years later, I barely recognize that woman.

Not because someone rescued me.

Not because everything suddenly became easy.

And certainly not because everything went according to plan.

I started making different choices.

I dreamed again.

I worked with my strengths.

I worked backward from the life I wanted.

I put my big rocks first.

I threw away some pebbles.

I developed a sense of urgency.

And eventually, I became brave enough to follow my own yellow brick road.

You can change your dreams.

You can tweak them.

You can explore.

You can wander.

You can reinvent yourself.

You can decide that the life everyone else expects you to live isn’t the life you want anymore.

But whatever you do, don’t stop dreaming simply because you’re getting older.

There is still life to live.

There are still places to go.

There are still things to create.

There are still versions of yourself you haven’t even met yet.

So take out that piece of paper.

Write down your three dreams.

Find your big rocks.

And start putting them in the jar first.

Your next chapter isn’t going to write itself.

Go live it.